I have always been a worrier. When I was younger I worried so much about school. I worried before exams, I worried during exams and I worried waiting for the results to come out.
My Dad used to tell me not to worry so much. I remember once as I stressed waiting for results of a maths exam he asked whether the worry I was feeling at that very moment could in any way change my result in that exam?
No. The answers were written and handed in. The teacher who marked it would simply go through my answers and add them up to give me my result. That result was now fixed and nothing I felt or did would have any impact on it at all.
It was a lightbulb moment. It never occurred to me how futile my worry was.
As I have grown into adulthood I still worry. When the anxieties build and grow and make my stomach sick and my head ache I try to stop and remember that conversation with Dad. I try to let the worry go. Much easier said than done, isn't it?
And now I have teenagers of my own. I see them worry and I know it wont help change their outcomes either. I am trying to pass on my Dad's advice. Recently someone posted a quote on-line from the Dalai Lama. It has stayed in my head, a variation on my Dad's words. I've needed those words a lot recently.
And so this morning I lay down on the grass in my garden and took a photo of the beautiful sky above me. I decided to put those wise words on it so I can print it and keep it where I will see it often. A reminder to take deep breaths and let the worry go.
Life is changing. Situations are unfolding. Some will bring tears, some will bring happiness. My worry is not going to change the outcome of any of them. I have to breath deep and live each day at a time and focus on the good that it holds. Today it is blue skies and unfurling Agapanthus flowers.
One day at a time...