The Baynhams

Inspired by my recent gradual weight loss I found myself looking through the rack of end of season swimwear at our local Trade Secrets. A red one piece caught my eye. It was made by a famous "hold-in-your-tummy-undies" company. The price tag was an original $160 but was slashed to just under $20. I couldn't resist trying it on.

Please don't get excited. This is not me wearing the swimmers but a photo I found on Google. I admit that the pair I found was (at least) one size smaller than I consider myself to be. Had there been a larger size I most likely would have gone with that one. Being as how this was the only pair left I wriggled and jiggled and squueeeezed and contorted my way in to it. As the swimmers fell into place I gasped. The Gina I saw reflected back at me looked like she had had mega surgery. Bye bye tummy, hello waist! Granted I could hardly breathe and eating would be out of the question but hello cash register here I come. These swimmers were mine!

And so I found myself being challenged by all three kids to join them in the public swimming pool that week as they did lessons and lengths. I tried to suggest that maybe the swimmers weren't ready to be seen in public  yet but I was outnumbered. I'd like to tell you I took to it like a duck to water but no, sadly my memories of swimming length after graceful length were about 25 years old and I looked more like a drowning wombat.

Those swimmers are good, they just fall short of performing bloomin' miracles!