The Baynhams

"I have enough friends you know, I don't need another one" The famous quote from the beginning of another amazing friendship! I was pregnant with Gareth and had joined an ante-natal yoga class to help me to find my inner calm. There was a girl there who always had a grin on her face, who let out squeals of laughter at the most inappropriate moments, like while we were on all fours with our bums sticking up and our belly's hanging low. She always looked so posh with her bright coloured lipstick and her gorgeous clothes. She offered me a lift to and from the classes when she realised we lived in neighbouring villages.

It was on the way home from one of these classes that she said those famous words. I didn't quite know what to say back and just sat in the passenger seat and stared open mouthed until she looked over and burst out laughing. "I really have you know, but I like you!" "I'm just going to have to make room for one more" And so began a friendship with one of the most bubbly and enthusiastic women I have ever met. The friendship stayed superficial as we maintained our masks of perfection for the first few months and then came the day that we dared to lower them.

We were in a parent and child changing room in a local swimming pool. We had spent time together in the baby pool with our tiny babies and were wet and bedraggled and trying to get babies and ourselves dry and warm before they would need their next feeds. Josie asked me how I was getting on juggling life with my newborn. I answered with a bright and cheery "everything-is-wonderful-thanks" that wasn't altogether true and asked her how she was. She looked me in the eye and I watched the tears spill over her cheeks as she said that actually she felt shit, That she was tired, the house was in a constant mess, and her husband had forgotten to put the bottles in the sterilizer before going to work AGAIN. I stood there and watched as the image of my friend with the perfect and sophisticated life crumbled and what was left behind was a real, normal mum going through everything I was. The tears welled up in my eyes as I sobbed, me too. We clung to each other and cried our hearts out as our babies lay snug in their towels not knowing what all the fuss was about. The door opened and another mum started to come in with her kids and then made a hasty exit. That was enough to turn the tears into howls of laughter as we realised how crazy we looked.

Thank you Josie for being the first to take down your mask and for being an honest and real friend to me ever since.