The Baynhams

680 grams plain flour (24 Oz)

350 grams of soft brown sugar (12 Oz)

230 grams of butter (8 Oz)

2 teaspoons of mixed spice

2 beaten eggs

8 tablespoons of golden syrup (1/2 cup)

2 teaspoons bicarbonate of soda

Also:

Shamrock cookie cutters

An Irish sister called Carrie

A CD of Diddly Didely Irish music

A Guinness clock set to Irish time

An Irish tea towel

An over sized Guinness hat you got by drinking copious amounts of Guinness in Harrigans Irish Pub last weekend.

Firstly say a prayer to St Patrick thanking him for the fact that you have an Irish Sister called Carrie who gave you the cookie cutters in the first place. Then put on Irish CD given to you by a great friend who loves The Boomtown rats. Set oven to 190 degrees C (375 degrees F)

Put butter, sugar and syrup in saucepan and stir over a low heat for U2, Sinead O'Connor and half a Clannad track. Sift flour, bicarb of soda and spices to HotHouse Flowers daydreaming of the day you went swimming in the Irish sea with Liam Ó Maonlaí. Add the syrup mixture and beaten egg and stir furiously to The Pogues and Kristy Mac Coll. Have a giggle about the day a very drunk Shane Mc Gowen came into A+E of St Vincents Hospital in Dublin with a Colles fracture and told the anaesthetist to F*** off and discharged himself when he was asked if he had any loose teeth caps or crowns. Knead mixture well and then put in the fridge to cool down.

Put kettle on for a cup of tea.

Check Guinness clock to see what time it is in Ireland. Consider ringing Carrie to tell her she's a great sister but then decide 2.22am is not the best time for sister to sister bonding session.

Drink tea to the mournful wails of The Cranberries and think back to the Shane Mc Gowen story and how everyone had bets on as to how long before he would walk back in to A+E begging for his arm to be fixed. 1 hour 45 minutes and six more pints of Guinness if I remember correctly!

Roll out mixture to 1/2cm thick to the rhythm of The Boomtown Rats and use shamrock cutters to make 200 cookies.

Place on baking trays and using Irish tea towel, place carefully in the hot oven and cook for Thin Lizzy, The Dubliners and a Van Morrison track (10-15mins)

Allow to cool on wire racks then sprinkle with icing sugar and eat warm with a glass of cold milk as the final track plays on the Irish CD and your belly is filled with a warm fuzzy sentimental glow!