The Baynhams

It's my birthday later on this week. We went shopping at the weekend and wandered around lots of different stores with the aim of finding me a present from Byron and the kids.

I couldn't think of anything I wanted. I had a blank brain. The shops were busy and all around me were shelves of "stuff". Dare I say it was almost overwhelming. I stood in the middle of the shiny department store surrounded by tempting displays, modern lighting and eager sales staff and told Byron I really couldn't think of anything I wanted.

Even as I said it I realised it sounded crazy. Gina, the former shopaholic. If Cathy or Josie, my former shopping buddies from the UK could have been there they would have slapped me sharply across the face and waved smelling salts beneath my nostrils.I felt a strange Zen calmness as I thought about how I had Byron and the kids, my health, a beautiful house and all the material possessions I could need. I thought that this must be what you feel like when you meditate deeply and smell incense for long periods of time. Happy, weightless, full of  goodwill to all men....

And then Byron got all masterful and realistic. He told me to hurry up, snap out of it and chose something or I would have no wrapped parcel on my birthday morning in a few days time. He reminded me of two things I had hinted at over the last few weeks.

One was a hot pink electrical device which zapped the hairs on your legs and promised that with regular use and multiple new blades that the hair growth would reduce to 30% (ish)



The other was a fire-engine red electrical device that would sit on my kitchen counter and promised to help me to make cakes, bread, anything that required mixing or kneading.





He told me to hurry up and chose one so he could buy it and we could go home.

I deliberated and agonised and finally decided to hand over the decision to the kids. I sat down cross legged on the shiny marble tiled floor and informed them that they could choose. They could have a Mum with smooth hair-free legs who never baked and therefore stuck to her healthy eating regime.

Or a Mum with hairy legs who baked cakes and cookies every day and got plumper by the month. One chose the smooth hair-free version, the other two chose the hairy baker. The shops were closing in 5 minutes.

Which would you have chosen...?!