Saturday, April 04, 2009

Same me, another life.

I had a dream last night.

It was very real and unsettling.

I was in a busy city packed full of visitors waiting to see a sporting event. As the crowds jostled by I clutch tight to the hand of a little girl. It was Sian and she was about 2yrs old and wearing her favourite red woollen coat. As I pushed through the crowds I was searching for Byron. He was in a group of friends, most of whom were unfamiliar to me. I looked down at my left hand holding tight to Sian's chubby one. It was bare. No engagement ring, no wedding band...

As I called his name he looked up. He looked at me blankly, a half smile on his face then turned away. He didn't know me. I was calling him and trying to tell him he was Sian's Dad, that we were supposed to be married and that eventually we would have three kids together. He couldn't hear me and moved away into the crowd.

I woke up to a quiet room, the light creeping in through the blinds. Everything was familiar. I felt the fear fade as I breathed deeply and stretched my arms out in front of me. I looked down at my left hand. It was bare. No engagement ring, no wedding band...

My heart stopped and a feeling of panic filled my chest. I sat up in the bed looking around for my wedding ring that I never take off. It sat on my bedside locker next to the hand cream I had rubbed on just before going to sleep last night. I felt goosebumps prickle on my arms as the bedroom door opened and Byron walked in with two cups of tea. I'm not going to let him out of my sight today!

2 comments - click here to leave your comment:

  1. Im so glad you have put this blog on here. I took of my rings earlier, which I also never do, to make Darren some banana bread. Ive just realised I havent put them back on and they are not in a very safe place. I would have forgotten to put them on if I had not read this. Thank you.

  2. Glad my weird dream has been of help Elaine!